Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

... and out of the chaos, a sentence came to me:
"Laugh and be happy, it could be worse!"
... and so I laughed and was happy and it really became worse.

0

0

Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell?
“Yep, gravity still works!”

0

0

My relationship is like an iPad.
I don't have an iPad.

0

0

Do people talk about you behind your back?
Simply fаrт.

0

0

They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.

0

0

There are people who are a living proof that total brain failure does not always lead to physical death.

0

0

If you’re having a bad day, remember some adults wear braces.

0

0

What flutters about and clearly never had a bath in its entire life?
Stinkerbell.

0

0

Cop: "Did you кill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."

0

0

3 years old: My mom is the best!
7 years old: Mom I love you!
10 years old: Mom what ever!
17 years old: ОМG my mom is so annoying!
25 years old: I wanna go back home!
35 years old: Mom you were right
50 years old: I dont wanna lose my mom!
70 years old: I would give everything to have my mom with me!

0

0

Everyones keeps teasing me about being so dамn lazy. I just can't do this anymore. I think I'm just going to кill myself. But the gun is like... way over there.

0

0

I must have a great вuтт, because every time I finish talking to someone and start to walk away.
I hear them whisper 'what an аss'

0

0

I asked my girlfriend what movie my diск reminded her of...
She replied, "Chicken Little"

0

0

To do list:
1. Buy a sword
2. Name it Kindness
3. Кill people with Kindness

0

0

I wasn't going to download the song "Thrift Shop"...
But shiт, it was only 99 cents!

0

0

A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit, and a crab with a whale for a daughter:
The Directors of Spongebob were obviously high.

0

0

"Today, I saw a homeless men living in a tyre. So I did good deed and punctured it."
"How is that a good deed?"
"He is now living in a flat."

0

0

Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
You.

0

0