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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But I turned myself around.

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Q: If an electric train is traveling north-by-northeast at 59 MPH, and the wind is blowing west at 18 MPH, which way is the smoke blowing? A: There is no smoke; it's an electric train.

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I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"

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If I wanted to кill myself I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your iq

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What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender

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Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

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I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.

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What do you call a fат psychic?
A four сhin teller.

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I’m starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.

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Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor

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Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide,” and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

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My sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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How do you get a fат girl to bed? Piece of cake

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Do you know Imagine Dragons
Yeah
Imagine Dragon my nuts across your face

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What is the difference between an orphan and a apple?
Well at least one gets picked

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My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

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