Jokes

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Dамn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

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Sometimes... when you cry ... no one sees your tears... sometimes... when you are happy... no one sees your smile... But fаrт just one time...

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What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.

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Is вuттсhеекs one word?
Or should I spread em?

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How do You punish helen keller.
You leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Why did the strawberry cry? – Because his mother was in a jam.

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My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

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Why are mountains so funny? – Because they are hill areas.

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What does a pulse and an оrgаsм have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.

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What’s the difference between an onion and a baby?
Nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

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Q. How much сuм does a gаy guy have
A. A вuтт load

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Grammar: It’s the difference between knowing your shiт and knowing you’re shiт.

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There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.

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How do you think the unthinkable? With an ithberg.

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Last time I got a piece of аss was hen my finger went through the toilet paper.

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There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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What’s worse than locking your keyes in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.

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If tomatoes are fruit does that mean ketchup is a smoothie

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