Jokes

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Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words.
His response was “Но hо hо”

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How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.

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I've decidedmy 2020 will start on February 1st. January is a free trial month

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A mexican was doing a magic trick
He said “uno, dos,”
Then disappeared without a trace

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How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.

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Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself…
Where the fuск is my roof?

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Say what you want about Нiтlеr, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Нiтlеr.

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What do you call it when a мidgет waves at you?
A microwave

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Whats the diffrence between mexicans and stoners
Stoners actually have papers

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We need to increase our efficiency - How about a new deadly supervirus? - It would cost us millions in research. - If we created a noax statig that vaccines are dangerous, we could work with the virus

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You are here

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April fools joke go to an orphanage and tell them their parents came back

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Someone rареd my ear, now I have hearing aids

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A реdорhilе and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, “I’m scared.”
The реdорhilе says, “You think you’re scared? I have to walk back alone!”

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My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a реdорhilе. I told her, “РЕDОРНILЕ? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”

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How did Helen keller’s mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.

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Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.

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What do a реdорhilе and a clock have in common…neither of them go pass 12.

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