Jokes

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Dамn girl, are you a Prius? You're giving me the silent treatment and I can't tell if you're turned on.

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According to Isaac Newton your attracted to me

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You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

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Can I call you a Тwinкiе cause when I bite into you, you cream in my mouth

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Are you a unicorn cause you look magical

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Ill be Burger King and you'll be McDonald's ill have it my way and you be loving it!!! ;D Look ma i did something with my life are you proud of me now????? By Lionso

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If I had a rose for every time I thought of you we would be walking through a never-ending garden!

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BOY:Are you tired?
GIRL:Why?
BOY:Because you've been running through my mind all day.

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Me: I can't wait to wake up tomorrow.
Girl: Why??
Me: Because I swear you get more beautiful everyday.
*Gets laid*

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Do you like astronomy, because i see stars in your eyes

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Boy: Hey, can you help me look for something? Something fell.
Girl: Sure, what fell?
Boy: My zipper.

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I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy...
Oh, for heavens sake, STOP LAUGHING!!!

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Come sleep with me, sleep with me twice. I think that would be really nice. Look here, look here, at the size of my shoe. You know what they say. Yes it is true.

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On a scale of 1 to 10 you're 9 and i'm the 1 you need

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Me - I love you like i love pizza.
Girlfriend - Awe that so sweet!
Me - Yeah, i don't like pizza.

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I got a stiff pole for your sweet hole. L

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“Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.”
Great movie quote, terrible chat-up line.

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One day, a pastor and a priest were shouting "It's the end of the world!, turn back before it's to late. A driver shouted back saying "You guys are nuts!" then continued his way, then a crash! the pastor and the priest turned each other saying "should we just say road off?".

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