Jokes

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Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.

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Why was sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.

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What was sally’s role in a football game?
The football ;-;

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I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit to EAR-itating

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Why doesn’t Hellen Kellers kid have ears? She gave it it’s first hair cut!

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Say I’m a man after every sentence You walk into a bar. (I’m a man) You find a girl . ( I’m a man)
You take her home.(I’m a man)
She whispers in your ear.(I’m a man)

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Why can’t you tell a joke in a corn maze
Because theres too many ears

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Father awaits the birth of his first child. The obstetrician:
“Unfortunately he has no arms”.
“I’ll love it all the same”. But the obstetrician adds:
“It is also without legs, trunk, head”.
“I’ll love it all the same”. Then the obstetrician confessed to him:
“I’m sorry, but only this ear was born”.
“I’ll love it all the same”. And the obstetrician:
“Talk to him closer: he’s deaf!”.

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Doctor: I’m sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuuut what’s this behind your ear?
Oh it’s still cancer

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Little Johnny walked to his parents room, they were having sеx and Little Johnny didn’t know what that was soo, he said “What are y’all doing?” The parents replied “Umm, r-rapping presents!” . Little Johnny said “ok.” and then left. In the morning Little Johnny opened his presents, his parents said “This one is from Santa!” Little Johnny said “No it’s not, y’all said y’all were rapping the presents.” The parents said “Ohh fuск” Little Johnny replied “What mommy and daddy?” They replied “Oh nothing!”
“Oh ok.” Little Johnny said. The mom whispered in the dads ears “At least he doesn’t know the truth.” Little Johnny said “What truth.”

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How do u get a blonde to drown
U tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird

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What is the worst part of milking a соw?
The smell of the dairy air.

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If your going shopping at school what color would Iike to smell : True or False

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What does a rock and a girl have in common?
The flat ones get skipped

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What do you call a соw that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.

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Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If there flat they get skipped.

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What’s a hairdressers favorite roast? Flat iron roast

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Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence:
“Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we’ll be happy forever in heaven, eventually.”
Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

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