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One did one male whale say to the other male whale?
She’s gonna вlоw!
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Oh sans, ur such a воnе - head! Sorry if that joke was jaw - breaking! LOL
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A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, “Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?” The librarian replied, “no you’d never bring it back!”
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What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises and a broken jaw?
Will you listen now?!?!?
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How do people in Alabama get circumcised? you knee your sisters jaw…
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I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women’s rights book in the fiction section
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What was the one test steven hawking couldnt pass? the beep test
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My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h. I. V test w/out studying
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What did the dalmation dog say after he finished his meal?
That hit the spot?
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So on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: aren’t the stars just wonderful?
I’m not sure, from my angle all I see is clouds.
Dad: Well come over hear and take a look.
Boy: Damm, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!!!
Dad: Well then I guess I will have too make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said…
Now i’m seeing stars!!!
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Well a boy and a girl are in a bath tube together. The little boy says “Hey you see that I’m gonna go ask daddy what it is?” When the little boy asks his dad he says. “Well son that’s your car you try to park it in a girls parking spot.” As the boy runs back he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama that her spot was and she said. “Well that’s your parking spot never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back the little boy tried to put the car in well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
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How do you spot a соw?
With a bingo dabber.
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What do you call a single вisеxuаl?
All bi myself.
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You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less
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Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
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Why is the cheetah so bad at hide n seek ? Because Everytime she hides she will always spotted
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Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, “Bruce! Bruce!” and he came running in. “Bruce, I’ve вlооdy suctioned myself to the floor” she said. “S’truth, Sheila!” Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. “You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber.” They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. “No way, we can’t do it!” Cobber said, “So let’s try Plan B”
“Plan B?” exclaimed Bruce, “What’s that?”
“I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her” replied Cobber. “Spot on” Bruce said, “While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her niррlеs”
“Play with her niррlеs?” Cobber said, “Not exactly a good time for that mate” "No… " Bruce replied, “But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper”
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No no no no
Spot the intruder
Theres no one
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