Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

I send flowers "From Steve" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn.

0

0

Three teenage boys were taking a short cut across a church lawn. In perfect view was a large sign which read: Stay off the Grass.
The caretaker yelled to the boys from the gardening shed, "Hey, can't you read?"
The boys paused, looked at each shrugging. Then one of them looked at the sign, still baffled. He cupped his hands over his mouth to form a loud speaker and yelled back, "So who's smoking?"

0

0

What do you call it when part of a windmill is owned by a circus clown?
A juggler vane!

0

0

Three hunters were walking in the woods one night when they came across a set of tracks.
"Those are bear tracks." The first hunter said.
"Those are deer tracks." The second hunter said.
"No, they're fox tracks. The third hunter argued.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

0

0

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

0

0

I was thinking of trying to find my watch I could never find time

0

0

I used to be a mime...
It's only now that I can talk about it.

0

0

What do you call meat made in the wrong factory?
A misteak!

0

0

The lovers wore the exact same shoes...
Naturally, they were solemates.

0

0

My bank balance is like a мidgет in a marathon. It's running a little short.

0

0

My new years resolution is not to shovel snow...
Since I'm moving to Phoenix Arizona, I feel pretty good about it.

0

0

What if you started making car alarm noises every time someone you don't like touched you?

0

0

Today, of course, being college-bred means being a loaf for four years

0

0

What's a Mexican's favourite fragrance?
Taco Rabanne

0

0

Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked Sardar why he kept painting less each day?
He replied, “I just can’t do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can.”

0

0

Q- What do you call it when you get super glue on your finger
A- A sticky situation

0

0

Run to the Round House Nellie...
They can't CORNER you there!

0

0

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

0

0