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I read this book about Mount Everest... It was quite the cliff hanger!

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I'm trying to finish writing a script for a роrnо movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot.

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I didn't mean to gain all this weight. It happened by snaccident.

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I broke a can opener. It's a can't opener now.

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When they asked the two monocles why they never got together, they said they'd like to, but didn't want to make spectacles of themselves.

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Did you hear about the super car of transformation?
Yeah, it turned into a road.

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They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.

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What cooking/seasoning spice herb can be found in the court of law?
A bay-leaf.

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My girlfriend says I never take her anywhere expensive, so I took her to a gas station.

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There was an explosion at a pie factory, 3.14 people died.

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59 years ago I got my first picture taken with Santa, just found out it was with Grandma.

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What did the snowman say when he felt he was misunderstood?
Did you get my drift?

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Q. What did the cork say to the bottle?
A. “If you don’t behave I’ll plug you.”

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Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!

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Just handed in my resignation to quit my job as a psychic. I just don’t see a future in it.

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Llllllllllllooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg is that long enough for you? It is supposed to be long!

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I recall the days I spent 4 hours looking at sweets in a petrol station.
And then as soon as the shop had no customers I suddenly remembered I needed to buy a роrn mag.

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I am the most athletic skeleton around, no bones about it!

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