Communication Jokes

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What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you sтuрid ugly hоrny сunт."

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A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs.
When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered:
"Its name is trouble".
When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied:
"I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's аss saying 'what a trouble it is.'"

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I posted a blonde joke on facebook accompanied by:
"For my blonde friends... an apology".
One of them responded.
"You don't have to apologise for having blonde friends."

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What's a pirate's favorite letter?
You would think R but it is the C that love.

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What do you call a cat that wants to have sеx?
Freak.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyouthinkysaraus.

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Yo mama's so sтuрid when she cries for help she says "come here please".

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My friend's dad went to Hungary.
I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"

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In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long diскs.
On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club.
When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's реnis length the guy said:
"Mine is 10 inches long"
The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing:
"Here isn't a suitable place for you."
The porter said,
"Look at me I 've turned three time my diск around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby diск."

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Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders?
A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing them from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know?" whenever you ask them a question.

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During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job:
"Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?"
Johny:
"Openness!"
Interviewer:
"But the openness isn't a weak feature!"
Johny:
"Ok, but I fuск what you think!"

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In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal.
He answered:
"Where?"
The country went bankrupt.

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Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sеx.
"Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom.
"Making a cake" his mom replies.
Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks.
"Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried.
"Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.

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After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out.
"A for apple," he began. "P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—"
The flustered agent interrupted.
"I have a better idea," she said. "Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples."

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Johny visits the psychiatrist and tells him:
"Lately I have a big problem with my memory."
The psychiatrist asks Johny:
"And how does it demonstrate concretely?"
Johny:
"What?"

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Do you know how Chinese people name their children?
They throw some pans and based on the noises they make like "ting tang,"
"Dung dung", "Ting tang dung"

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Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant.
We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together."
My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?"
I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of вееr."

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A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early.
Arriving home, he found his wife with another man.
Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next.
His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law.
"Bill" she said, "I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode."
"This I've got to hear," the Sailor said.
"It was an honest mistake," the mother-in -law said. " She never got your e-mail!"

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