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Tunafish
Three guys, who all were employed building high rise buildings, sat down on the scaffold to eat lunch one day. The first one opened his lunch and said, “Tunafish, tunafish, I hate tunafish. If my old lady packs tuna fish one more time I’m jumping.”
The other two guys opened their lunches and said, “Tunafish, tunafish, I hate tunafish. If I get tunafish one more time I’m jumping.”.
The next day, the first guy opens his lunch and says, “Ahhhh, my old lady packed ham and cheese.”
The second guy opens his lunch and says, “Ahhhhhh, my old lady packed sliced roast beef and mayonnaise.”
The third guy opened his lunch and said, “Tunafish, tunafish, I hate tunafish. All right, that’s it. I’m jumping.” So he goes to the edge and jumps off to his death.
The other two look on not believing what just happened. After a while the first guy says, “Gee, that’s sad. He actually jumped.”
The second guy says, “Yeah, the worst part is that he packed his own lunches.”
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1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get вiggеr. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get вiggеr again.
3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.
4. It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fаn in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landing you make equal to the number of take-offs you’ve made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
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