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Sign outside a hair salon: We’ll color your hair or dye trying.

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All zodiac signs have a hair style but cancer is just a one way thing

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Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it’s the 69th in the hair category.

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The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

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Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up

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An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife nакеd in bed with Leon Trotsky.
“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?” Asks one of the guests.
“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

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What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Lets call this one a draw

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A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

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One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

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6:30 has to be the best time, hands down

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Son: mom what is dark humor?
Mom: son do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother you know im blind and cant see!!
Mom: exactly!

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What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk

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Нiтlеr visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Нiтlеr salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn’t saluting.
Why are you not saluting like the others? Нiтlеr barks.
"Mein Führer, Im the nurse," she responds "Im not crazy!

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By the way, this joke is easily found on Google, this was not created by me, I just have not seen it in these fат jokes so I thought I’d say it.
Doctor: I diagnoss you with obesitiy.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

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So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely:
“I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”

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When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!

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Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news
Patient: What’s the good news?
Doctor: I’ve got u flowers
Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news?
Doctor:
They’re for your grave

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I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, “Stay Positive.” to the corona patients

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