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I’m sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty

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Why are fish 🐟 easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.

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I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet…
For 20 seconds…
And only once… :(

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I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts’ which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

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I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.

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Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed

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How does a Muslim close a door?
He islams it

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Sad to think about legend O. G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

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Wanna see something dark
Close your eyes

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My 3 year old sister kept saying i like your cut g everytime she does i dodge and close my eyes but she’s the one who always end up running

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A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died. The guard at purgatory says:
“I can give you one more chance to live!” He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn’t feel right… He looks in the mirror to see what’s wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something. Guard:
“Welcome back! You found the problem!”

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My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

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What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he’s blood type “eh”? “Ah, probably just go with blood typo”

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Wht is a obese ladys blood type. NUTELLA

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Your mom is so fат that she broke your crush

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What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual
Diabetes

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Yo mumma so ugly her blood types puss

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Blood is red. Bruses are blue i ferget the rest…um i hate you…?

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