Jokes

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Roses are red
He shows no remorse
Santa claus
Has joined the terrorist force

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Roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet

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Girl 1: Dad, why is my name rose?
Dad: because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey dad, why is my name daisy?
Dad: because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, Hey Brick!

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How did helen keller burn the side of her head?
She answered the iron
How’d she burn the other side?
They called back

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What is burned dark and glued to the wall?
A bad electrician

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Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

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Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life

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You have a six minute timer to live but when you breath it resets

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Are you corona?? Cuz it’s hard to breath around u

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When ant man is the size of an atom how can he breathe?

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Your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.

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How do you кill a downy
Put rat poison on their shoulder

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One day a guy named Carson is called a jеrк and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation. This happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇

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Why was Stephen hawkings wife mad at
She cought him having an afair with his shoulder

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Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had Dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

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People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer, that at least i can scan my worth at the supermarket.

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions

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