An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop:
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said: Butter – 10 francs.
In response, the old lady added a sign to her own window: Butter – 9 francs.
The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign: Butter – 8 francs.
Sure enough, the day after the lady’s sign now read: Butter – 7 francs.
This went on for a while until eventually one of the lady’s customers pointed to the sign and said. "Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete."
In response, the old lady веnт forward conspiratorially and muttered. "Monsieur, I don’t even sell butter."

An Australian, and Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar.
They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out:
"My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.
The Irishman calls out across the lounge. "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus?"
Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus." He says.
Well, the Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him. "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me." The bartender pours Jesus a Guinness. Jesus looks over, raises his glass in thanks and drinks.
Then the Australian calls out. "Oy you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus or what?"
Jesus nods and says. "Yes, I am Jesus."
The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a рот of Fosters for Jesus which Jesus accepts with pleasure.
The Scouser then calls out. "Oii whack, would you be Jesus?"
Jesus smiles and says. "Yes, I am Jesus."
The Scouser beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of bitter for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the table.
Finally, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches our three friends.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement.....
"Oh God! The arthritis is gone! The arthritis I've had for years is gone! It's a miracle."
Jesus then shakes the Australian's hand, thanking him for the lager.
Upon letting go, the Australian's eyes widen in shock. "By jingo mate, the migraine! The migraine I've had for 40 years is completely gone it's a miracle!"
Jesus then goes to approach the Scouser who says. "Back off, mate! I'm on Disability!"