Cow jokes

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If a соw is unable to produce milk...
Is it an udder failure?

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My kids were very excited to learn how to make a hamburger.
They seemed to lose interest after I cut the соw's throat.

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What do Indians say when they are surprised?
Holy cow

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Two cows are in a field and one says to the other "I'm kind of worried about this Mad Соw disease, are you?
The second соw replies "Nah I'm not worried about it. I'm a helicopter"

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Two соw talking in a field
The first one ask :
"Aren't you afraid about this terrible disease from the neighbor's farm called" mad соw" ? "
The second one looked at her, surprised, and answered :
" I don't care... I'm a rabbit"

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Fun fact, bulls aren’t angered by the color red, but the waving motion of the cloth
Which makes absolute sense since my neighbor gives me a scowl whenever I wave to her, Sharon you cow

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Why do farmers buy 18 DVDs on raising cattle?
They don't want that соw vid 19!

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What do you get when you milk a scared соw?
Seriously injured if you're lucky. Cmon man, that's dangerous.

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TIL its illegal to кill a соw in Nepal
If you do they use cowpital punishment.

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What does the 14 year old white соw say?
Mooood.

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A mathematician, a biologist, and an economist are riding in a train.
Looking out the window, they see a соw.
*Mathematician:* “This side of the соw is brown.”
*Biologist:* “That is a brown соw.”
*Economist:* “**All** cows are brown.”

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What do you call an insulted соw?
Roast beef.

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So a farmer told me a story about his cow
It was legend dairy.

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What does a girl have two of but a соw has more?
Legs, you pervert

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What did the Hindu соw say to the yoga class?
OoM

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I don’t know what everyone’s issue is with Jimmy Saville..
When I was younger he let me milk a соw blindfolded.

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I brought a cougar into my home.
I forgot about the соw I married.

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Who was a соw's favorite James Bond actor and James Bond girl actress?
Roger Moo and Graze Jones.

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