Disability Jokes and Disabled Jokes

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I think dyslexic people should form an onion.

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A scientific survey has recently found that 6/7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

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Why do deaf people watch TV late at night?
Because they can’t hear their alarm go off in the morning.

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Can’t believe how arrogant Stephen Hawking is. Got a message saying he needed a new wheelchair but every time I call him to arrange delivery it just goes through to his answerphone.

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Most of the time a problem shared is a problem halved unless the problem happens to be Aids.

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I went to see my psychiatrist today to tell him I’ve been hearing voices. He told me he wasn’t a psychiatrist and then he ran away.

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I have OC/DC.
It’s just like OCD except it fuскing rocks.

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To the disabled guy who stole my bag.
You can hide but you can’t run.

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I love taking my blind daughter out for a drive.
Every time I hit a speed bump, I tell her it was a dog.

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A blind guy visited his choir mistress at home and found her bathing. Since he was blind, she let him in.
After bathing, she came out nакеd, spread her legs and started shaving in front of him. She tried to make a conversation by asking him, “Brother John, what brings you here? Is everything OK at home?”
He replied, “Yes, very fine. I came to tell you that I have done the eye surgery and I can see very clearly now.”

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What do a мidgет and a dwarf have in common?
Very little.

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Why can’t dyslexics tell jokes?
They always punch up the ∫uckline.

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What do you call two Thalidomide children with no arms or legs in the water? . . . . . . . SWIMMING TRUNKS … …
What do you call a Thalidomide child with no arms or legs tanning on the beach? . . . . . . . SANDY …
What do you call a Thalidomide child with no arms or legs between two slices of bread? . . . . . . . PATTY
What do you call a Thalidomide child with no arms or legs between two slices of bread with sauerkraut? . . . . . . . REUBEN

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I have two brothers, well three actually but one has learning difficulties, so he can’t count.

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What’s a riot?
Three dyslexics.

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My disabled son wants to do a parachute jump for charity.
Thick сunт, you think he would have learned his lesson after the last time.

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King Сnuт was intensely disliked by his dyslexic brother.

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How do you make a spastic walk?
Set fire to the wheelchair.

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