Wife is Cute,

When she is Mute,
Husband is Honey,
When He Gives Money

I made a mistake.

I realized my mistake.
I apologized!
She made a mistake
I told her it was her mistake.
I realized my mistake
I apologized!

Last night I was relaxing on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen:

"Oh sweetheart, what would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"
I said, "Thank you, darling. I think I'll have chicken."
She replied, "You're havin' a peanut butter sandwich. I was talkin' to the dog!"

A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man.

As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches, he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched a man with an erect penis.
The professor commented, "Oh, no, I wanted it the other way."
She replied, "What other way?

A guy stopped me on the street trying to sell me a coffin.

'That's the last thing I'll need' I said to him.

I asked my wife why she married me.

Wife: "Because you're funny."
Me: "I thought it was because I'm good in bed."
Wife: "See... you're hilarious."

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary?

And on the Virgin Islands?
Same thing - not one canary there either.