Fathers day jokes

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I hope this gas station sells Father's Day cards.

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By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead.
And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.

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Father's Day always worried James.
He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.

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"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding. "

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Happy Father's Day!
I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it.
By the way, can I borrow $20?

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Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.

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"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.

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What is the perfect Father's Day gift?
Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.

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Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.

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Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.

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Which is the most confusing day in America?
Father's day!
80% don't know whom to wish.
Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.

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Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

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Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.

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Q: What is the most confusing day in West Virginia?
A: Father's Day.

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