Funny sayings

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“My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.”

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“A good mood is like a balloon: one рriск is all it takes to ruin it.”

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“My mom said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.”

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“I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.”

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“The shortest horror story: Monday.”

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“I get enough exercise pushing my luck.”

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“I speak fluent ironic with a solid sarcastic accent.”

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“He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.”

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“I am an example to others. A bad example.”

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“I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.”

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“I’m never late. The others are just too early!”

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“Come over to the dark side…we’ve got candy.”

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“Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.”

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“He who laughs last is a bit of a slow thinker.”

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“Wine + dinner = winner”

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“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.”

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“I don’t give a ship!”

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“There’s no “we” in fries.”

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