I get so frustrated with the advertising agencies and their use of the oldest of old cliches that always seem to catch a second wind and another decade of tiresome syntax. ….
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A good example is “Starving.” Two decades later, they still run that same mud-caked Somalian kid on the side of the road, with fifty flies buzzing on his face, begging for a bowl of rice… “Your $19 every month can save him.” He’s made it all this time on 3AM TV, mud-caked, with those eyes that match the sadness of a beagle? Good job advertisers. Twenty years ago, all his chest needed was some barbecue sauce and an hour on the grill. I’m surprised they haven’t developed miracle drugs to show how long he’s been alive and begging. They certainly could develop perpetual youth serums as well. Anti-aging formulas sell well at 3AM too.
And then we have writers describing a Church feast or a buffet, where the tables “groan,” supposedly under the weight of the food. Really? Does a table complain? “Oh my back, I don’t know if I can take much more of this shiт.” Think of all the mothers at that Church picnic trying to get their six year old to eat Auntie Maud’s creamed broccoli from the рот luck, so they don’t end up covered with flies and mud, starving alongside the Somalian kid.
You people writing Real Estate ad copy are just as bad. What the fсuк is a “Roaring” fire? And if I think about it long, enough, can’t my new house (and fireplace) be a place of coziness, quiet and love? Has anybody ever walked by their fireplace and been startled out of their wits by a mighty roar, before the hearth consumed them?
And you travel agencies making up romantic stories about a vacation, making liberal use of the word “Rustic.” Thanks to you, my g/f and I just spent a week in a “rustic” cabin. For once and for all, I found out ‘rustic’ means ‘old piece of shiт.’
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