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Music teacher: "What is your favorite musical instrument?"
Fat kid: "The lunch веll."
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Guy1: Your zipper is down.
Guy2: Ughh, your mom is so forgetful !
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Boy: hey I just saw your mom on t.v last night.
girl: really?!?!?! what channel?
Boy: Animal planet
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A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the вrеаsтs of a eighteen year old."
"Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old аss?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."
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A daughter: Mom stop it, you're not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you
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Bully is provoking a wimpy kid
Bully: Hit me!
Wimp: NO!
Bully: Hit me!
Wimp: NO!
Bully: Hit me!
Wimp: I don't know where you are from but in this country we don't believe in hitting little girls.
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Jamito el padre y las matemáticas
El examen de Jaimito y la perdida de memoria
- Сине
Un díaantes
Tatal ii Zice fiului: - Mai bine ai trece examenul azi
Father: You better pass that exam or else forget that I'm your father. Son: Ok
Dad- Son
Little Kenny is about to have a big test and his father says: “You better study real good boy
Λέει η μάνα του Τοτού στον Τοτό: - Τοτέ εάν κοπείς στα μαθήματα της εξεταστικής ξέχνα ότι είσαι παιδί μου. Μετά από μερικές ώρες τον ξαναρωτάει : - Πώς τα πήγες; Τοτός : – Γνωριζόμαστε κυρία μου;
Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father!
Son: .....
Son: sure, whatever dad.
Five hours later
Dad: so how was your exam?
Son: who the hеll are you?!
Kickass if you get it
By mary z jing so my friends will know
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American kid- "You're from the UK? Cool! So do you have tea with the queen?"
British kid- "Do you go to McDonalds with Obama?"
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Teacher: Tell your class why you are 15 minutes late.
Me: Someone Told me to go to Неll.
Me: Couldn't find it at first.
Me: Now I'm here
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Yo Momma so sтuрid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, ''Wait!
Stop! Thieves! You forgot the remote!''
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Girl on Facebook:OH MY GOD i just found out my grandad built the titanic !!
Me:Well he didn't do a very good job did he ?
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Ex: you're a sтuрid slаg.
Me: I've been called worse.
Ex: what's that?
Me: your boyfriend.
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Boy: I wonder why I always get a воnеr when I look into a mirror?
Girl: Because your diск thinks you're a рussy too!
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Girl: If I was your wife, I would poison your drink
Man: if I was your husband I would drink it
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Kid: Mom I got detention
Mom: what for sweetie
Kid: Well, my teacher asked for my paper I got a 66 on
Mom: So?
Kid: She said " Give me the D"
Mom: So?...
Kid: So I did
Mom: I don't see why you got detention
Kid: I know right? and what's with the rаре charges
Mom: what
Kid:what
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Friend: Were you born on the side of the road because that is where accidents happen.
Me: I'm sorry to say but your birth certificate was an apology letter from the соndом factory.
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Everytime I go to a wedding......
Grandparents: *poke* *poke* Ur next. Ur next
Me: Next time I go to a funeral I'll do that same sh*t to you. See how you like it.
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