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Insults

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Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: I'm late?
Teacher: You missed an entire period.
Student: Are you telling me I'm pregnant?
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Ψέμα ήτανε Une maîtresse demande à ses élèves: Teacher: I am beautiful. What tense is this? Учителката ги прашува учениците; Im Grammatikunterricht versucht die Lehrerin den Schülern durch Beispiele die Zeiten zu erläutern. Lehrerin: "Wenn ich sage ich bin schön La maestra le dice a los alumnos A professora explica os tempos verbais: - Se eu digo "Eu fui bonita" Jantje zit in de klas en zit te dromen. Hij kijkt naar buiten en opeens valt hij in slaap Teacher says to class Учителька: — Послухай Okulda birgün Türkçe öğretmeni zaman kiplerini işliyor ve öğrencilerine bir soru soruyor : - Çocuklar -ben güzelim- dersem hangi zamana girer bu cümlem? Çocuklar hep bir ağızdan : - Geçmiş zaman... Une grand-mère demande à sa petite fille : - Quand je dis : "Je suis belle" - Jasiu
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
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Bob:
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Joe:
"To get to the idiот's house."
Bob:
"Knock knock."
Joe:
"Who's there?"
Bob:
"The chicken."
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Boy: Hi.
Girl: I have a boyfriend.
Boy: I said hi, not suск my diск.
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Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter from the соndом factory.
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Your mama so ugly, when she went to a stripping club, they paid her to keep her clothes on.
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Roses are red "just like blood"
Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo"
So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out
And shows me 1 thing your shiт.
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Idiот: You're a chicken
Me: Yes, that's why I go 'fcOff fc fc fcOff'
Kickass if you get it
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Mom: Make your bed!
Me: Why do i have to make if i'm going to sleep again?
Mom: Why do you wipe your аss if you going to shiт again?
Me:...
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Кој е глуп Little Johnny... Stand Up Jaimito y la profesora nueva учитель просит учеников: -встаньте урок в школе. учитель: - кто считает себя придурком Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!" La nouvelle institutrice a envie d’inculquer des notions de psychologie à ses élèves. Един ден в час на класния Професор към студентите: One day a college professor after getting irritated in his college class stands up in front of the class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot Stanco dei suoi studenti che fanno sempre confusione e non seguono le sue lezioni Un professore di una scuola media è disperato per il comportamento dei suoi alunni e fa loro un discorso: Irritado com seus alunos Il maestro è disperato perché i ragazzi sono indisciplinati. Der Lehrer sagt: "Alle die glauben ein Idiot zu sein Wchodzi nauczyciel do klasy i mówi: - Wszyscy nienormalni wstać. Wszyscy uczniowie usiedli Dans une école “If there are any idiots in the room Jantje zit op school. Zegt de juf: "Wie zichzelf dom vindt Der Lehrer sagt zur Klasse: „Wer denkt Le professeur est debout face aux élèves puis dit : - Tout ceux qui sont débiles se lèvent ! Toto se lève - Toto tu es débile ?! - Je ne voulais pas vous laissez seul monsieur Klass 4:b hade klassråd. Fröken hade tänkt lite på det där med självkänsla och mobbing och tänkte ta det som dagens diskussionsämne. Hon vände sig till klassen och sa: - Alla som känner sig dumma... A professora estava irritada com seus alunos que não responderam às questões da prova então disse: -Quem for burro fique de pé! depois de um tempinho joãzinho se levanta e a professora fala:... En ny lærer i Lille Per's klasse ville afprøve sine psykologi evner på eleverne. Lærerinden: - Alle der tror de er dumme rejser sig op. Efter et par sekunder rejser Lille Per sig op. Lærerinden: -... Una maestra nueva Іде заняття в школі. Вчитель: — Хто вважає себе дурнем A tanár nincs megelégedve az elsős osztály szellemi színvonalával Der Lehrer kommt in die Klasse und fragt: "Wer glaubt Začínající učitelka si chce na své třídě vyzkoušet poznatky z psychologie: „Každý A l'école la maîtresse de Toto dit: - Ceux qui sont cons se lèvent Personne ne se lève quand soudain Toto se lève. - Toto pourquoi t'est con? - Non je suis pas con s'est juste que j'avais pitié de... Um certo dia Mokytojas: - Vaikai A classe era a mais terrível da escola. A meninada simplesmente virava tudo do avesso Nauczyciel wchodzi do klasy i mówi: Kto głupi wstać. Jasiu wstaje. Nauczyciel pyta: - Czemu wstałeś? - Bo nie chciałem Idioter rejser sig "Hvis der er nogle idioter i dette rum Skolotāja ienāk klasē: Kurš ir stulbs pieceļās! Jānītis pieceļās. Tu esi stulbs? Nē skolotāj Okula yeni gelen ögretmen ilk dersinde ögrencilere ilginç bir çagrıda bulundu : - Kendini geri zekalı hisseden varsa ayağa kalksın… Sınıfta çıt yok. Nihayet biri kalktı : - Sen kendini geri zekalı... Der Lehrer: " Wer von euch glaubt Lehrerin zur Klasse: "Jeder der denkt
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were sтuрid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him:
“Why did you stand up?”
He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
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Teacher: "Do you want to share that with the class?"
Me: "No that's why I whispered it."
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, she make blind kids cry.
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me: I have a magic trick that'll make u forget ur gаy.
friend: I'm not gаy...
me: Told ya!
friend: ....dammit
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Fragt sie: "Findest du mich schön oder hässlich?" Birgitt fragt Ihren Sohn Paul: "Findest du mich schön oder hässlich?" Sagt der Sohn: "Eigentlich Beides". Verwundert fragt die Mutter nach: " Wie soll ich das den jetzt verstehen?" Sagt der Sohn: "... Germa fragt ihren Sohn Nils: „Findest du mich schön oder hässlich?“ „Beides!“ „Wie kann ich das verstehen?“ „Also… Ich finde dich ganz schön hässlich!“
Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."
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Като бях малък Fritzchen rennt zu seinem Vater und schreit: "Papa Sohn: "Papa Monster Dreng: “Far der ligger et monster under sengen” Far svarer: “Knægt herinde ligger det i sengen” Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No Ніч. — Тато - Mami Vater zu seinem 5-jährigem Sohn: "Nein Papa
Son:
"Dad! Dad! There is a monster under my bed!"
Dad:
"Enjoy it while you can son, when you get married the monster sleeps in your bed."
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Read this out loud
This is This cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiот cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is second cat
Now read the third word in all the sentences.
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Dоuсhе: My diск's so long it goes all the way from A to Z!
Me: Yeah? Look at your f*cking keyboard!
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Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
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