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Insults

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she was born, her mama called her a treasure, so her daddy offered to bury her.
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Q: What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress's name tag?
A: "What did you name the other one?"
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They make Bush out to sound like he's Нiтlеr. And people have to remember that there's a big difference between Bush and Нiтlеr: Нiтlеr wrote a book.
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Guy 1: your a pussy
Guy2: i am what i eat
Guy1: then your a dick
Guy2: i am what i have
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A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend.
In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.
To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find.
In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women (some with clothes and some without).
He then mailed them to his now-former girlfriend with the following note:
“I don’t remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back.
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I hate that PC stuff. He's not fат; he's gravity-enhanced. You mustn't say short -- vertically challenged. Nobody's bald; they're persons of scalp. The sтuрid are hard of thinking, and the crazy are logically impaired.
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The elderly nurse approached her co-workers in the break room:
“I am mortified, disgusted and insulted. Someone else is going to have to give the patient in bed 429 his bath.”
“What is the problem, Nurse Jackson?” asked another nurse.
“Well, if you must know, he has a…a tattoo on his … his реnis!”
(Gasps are heard throughout the nurse’s break room.)
“Yes, the tattoo ‘JSWAN’ is plainly visible … it is disgusting!”
“I will bathe him, Nurse Jackson,” said the youngest nurse, a 24-year-old blonde. “You can give a bath to my female patient in room 422.”
Hours later, the nurses are having their lunch in the break room, and Sheryl, the young nurse, smiles and says, “Nurse Jackson was wrong about the tattoo. It doesn’t say ‘JSWAN’, it says ‘JOE’S BAR AND GRILLE SASKATCHEWAN!’ “
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Boy:I'd tell you a joke about my diск but it's to long
Girl:I'd tell you a joke about my рussy but you'll never get it
Kickass is you get it
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Bully - "Hey fат аss. Why you so fат?"
Fat kid - "Because every time I fuск ya mother she give me a cookie."
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Boy texted his dad saying
Boy:I got expelled
Dad: WHAT WHY
Boy: cos we had this lesson about bulling and the teacher said sticks and stones may break my воnе but words will never hurt me
Dad: and
Boy: so I threw a book at her face and it broke her nose
Dad : lol that's my boy
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Your Halloween costume came in the mail today. I opened it. It was a rooster mask and a bag of lollipops. Going as a c*ck sucker again!?
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Yo mama's vаginа is so hairy when she had you, you came out with rug burns.
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Yo mama's so fат, when she farted pluto's ice caps melted.
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Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A: "Hoooooney, I want to go to Miaaami!"
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Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
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If the red man lives in the red house and
If the orange man lives in the orange house.
Who lives in the White House?
Obama
Kickass if you get it
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Q: Why are blonde jokes one-liners?
A: So brunettes can understand them.
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