Insults

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Q:What do me and a mirror have in common?
A:When we see your face we both сrаск up!

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Q; What do you call a person who likes to hang around with musicians?
A: A drummer.

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If I needed any s**t from you, I'd squeeze your head.

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Q: What do Rednecks call four empty Cool Whip containers on a table?
A: Salad bowls

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Why are there only 12 Republicans in heaven?
If there were any more, it'd be hеll.

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I don't know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.

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A mime is walking aimlessly through a forest.
A tree falls on him.
Does anyone care?

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A Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye are night fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio River.
As soon as the redneck puts his line in the water, he slings a fish onto the bank. The buckeye isn't catching anything, so he yells across to the redneck, "Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!"
"Alright, tell ya what - I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!" the redneck yells back.
The buckeye replies, "Ain't no way, buddy. You must think I'm a fool. I know when I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!"

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Q: Why did the redneck cross the road?
A: He wanted to sleep in the ditch on the other side.

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The better part of you must have rolled down your daddy's leg.

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"Why don't you say that to my face?"
"Turn around."

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Q: Why didn't anybody hear Helen Keller scream?
A: She was wearing mittens.

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Why don't you slip into something comfortablelike a coma.

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Q: How'd the redneck get lost in space?
A: He rolled down the window to spit out his chaw.

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If someone ever says, "What are you staring at?", Say "I don't know, give me a minute."

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"Did you ever find the guy?"
''What guy?''
''The guy who beat you with the ugly stick!''

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Sтuрid People Euphemisms:
- Not the brightest crayon in the box
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
- Not the funniest clown in the circus
- Not the fastest horse in the race
- Not the sharpest тооl in the shed
- Not the brightest star in the sky
- Not the most likely Vice Presidential candidate

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You're like school in the summertime - no class.

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