Insults

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You're pathetic. Don't believe me? Ask your wife, she might tell you since she probably tells her friends what a dipsh*t you are.

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Your house is so small, if you dropped a washcloth, it would look like wall to wall carpeting.

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He has a mind like a steel trap, always closed!

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He is so short, his hair smells like feet.

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I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

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Teachers: Where's your homework
Student: At home having more fun than me

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I want you to know that it is perfectly all right to have an unexpressed thought. In your case I even recommend it.

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For two cents I'd give you a piece of my mind, and all of yours.

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Slit your wrists, it will lower your blood pressure.

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The only thing he brought to this job was his car.

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You're like one of those "idiот savants," except without the "savant" part.

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You've never been outspoken, no one has ever been able to.

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He has occassional flashes of silence, which makes his conversation perfectly delightful.

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I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

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When you and your momma had an argument, it was a battle of the wits. Nit versus Dim. Then your dad joined, and it was Nit versus Dim verses Half.

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He comes from a long line of real estate people... They're a vacant lot.

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If sеx were fast food, you'd have an arch over your head.

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You know the small dots on your ваlls, it's your sреrм cells trying to escape because they dont want to make another you

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