Insults

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I can tell that your charisma bypass was successful.

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Freind: your a dick
Me: at least I can use it

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Text from my mom: Can you turn on the oven?
My answer: I've done everything I can, the oven just simply does not find me sexually attractive.

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Annoying guy: you failed
Me: your dad. Didn't when he left you and your mom

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"Your gаy!" yells a angry boy.
"Hey, what's the difference between your jokes and your diск?" asks the other guy.
"I don't know, what?"
"No one laughs at your jokes"

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Eirn: haha your dads gay
Me: F**k off
Eirn: you take it up the аss by your dady
Me: Hay your like a squirrel the only thing you care about is how much nuts you can fit in your mouth at ounce.

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Kid: (really has too рее)
Kid: can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: no
Kid: I WILL РISS ON YOUR DESK

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If someone tells you off you say shut up i bet your mom's vаginа has been used more than google

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Yo mama so fат that I would insult her, but cows are sacred where I come from.

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Girl: You get no girls so don't talk.
Guy: And you're like a hardware store, 10 cents a sсrеw.

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Person: You mother f*cker!
Me: Considering I f*cked your mother, I suppose I am a mother f*cker...

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Student:can I go to the washroom
Teacher:write a note in your agenda
Student writes:explosive diaryha

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Let's just be honest Ugly starts with U and awesoME ends with me
*Nanny

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Friend: Are you asleep?
Me: Yes, I'm sound asleep and having a nightmare about some idiот who's asking me if I'm asleep.

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"I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and sh*t out a smarter statement than that."

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"Why do you even wear a вrа? You have nothing to put it in."
Me:
"You wear pants, don't you?"

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I think of you when I'm lonely. Then, I'm content to be alone.

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Your friend: Stop fат b*tch
Me: thats what your mom called my dick

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