Insults

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Me: how does it feel to be born on the highway
Friend: what???
Me: well isn't that were accidents happen

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Your just mad because your mum has a вiggеr diск than you

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Me: Great story! Wanna hear mine?
Person: Sure!
Me: Once upon a time, no one gave a f*ck.

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Guy - did it hurt?
Chick- what?!?!?!?
Guy - when you fell from heaven?
Chick - that is so swee-
Guy- because it looks like you landed on face!

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People:
"I love it when my boyfriend tells me he loves me."
Me:
"I love it when my microwave tells me my food is ready."

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Person: Theres no I in team!
You: but there's certainly a U in Сunт!

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I'm sorry, I keep looking at your chest while you're talking... its just so beautiful. Is it real oak?

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Guy1: at least i have got a diск Guy2: what diск?
Guy1: the one that created you

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*When I'm eating сhiрs and talking*
Teacher: Would you like to share that with the class?
Me: B*tch, are you out of your dамn mind. These are for me and only me.

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I thought I was ugly,until I saw your mom

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Insult: You're gаy.
Comeback: You wish I was.

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Boy:
"Mom, can I go bungee jumping"
Mom:
"NO, you came in this world because rubber broke, I don't want you to go out the same way."

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Me: I love you. Her: Can you be a little more original? Me: I love you®

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Вiтсh you got more tracks than a railroad

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When somone messes with me during class.
Me:I need to throw this in the trash*takes a Balled up paper and throw it at that someone*
Class:oooooooohhhhhhh

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The b*tch of the class strutted up to a fат kid and asked,
"When is it due"
The girl thought for a moment then replied,
" I don't know, ask your boyfriend"

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Teacher: Your behaviour is unacceptable.
You: Your face is unacceptable.

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Random Idiот: Spell ICUP
Me: I C U P Blood. You should get that checked out, you might have aids.

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