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  2. Insults

Insults

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular
He is known as a miracle comic. If he's funny, it's a miracle!
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You are not even beneath my contempt.
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Rетаrd: What would you buy for 1$
Me: I don't know, your mom for 5 minutes.
Crowd: ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoohohohoh
Retard: At least I have one unlike you. Me: Well, at least my birth cirtificate is not a appoligy letter from a соndом factory unlike yours. crowd: sit down b*tch
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If shiт was music, you'd be an orchestra.
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You finally meet a guy who buys you flowers and opens the door for you, and you go, 'F**kin' wimp. Mama's boy! Go on back to Mama. Send me back somebody who will treat me like sh*t.'
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Student:
"Girls are better, because we are stronger, better, and we live longer. what do you have to say to that?"
Me:
"That's true, because when men get married to women like you, who b*tch and complain all day. they beg to god to die faster."
Teacher: *bursts out laughing*
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Bully: Yo fат аss!!!
Nigga: yo wanna know why im fат yo b*tch?
Bully: sure you little titch
Nigga: because every time i fuск up your girlfriend she gives me a biscuit
Bully; FUСК YOU!!!
Nigga: gotta go biscuit break! :P
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Your fат dont sugercode that because you will eat that to
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Yue Yang (Meanie): Hey there fatty
Carl (Awesome person): Well hello there, I didn't notice I was a mirror.
Yue Yang: (Cries)
Carl: Stop get you girlfriend wet instead.
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Dоuсhе- Your diск is so small
Boy-yeah not what your girlfriend said last night
Douche-fuск you
Boy-you know you would but your girlfriend already did
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"You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back."
"What do you expect Tommy? You're in a wheelchair."
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Bully:U suck
Me:u swallow
Bully:u spit
Me:u choke. Just like ur mom did last night
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Bully:your a loser
Me:no im Michael, Loser lives with your mother and so far he's winning
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What’s the difference between you and eggs? A: Eggs get laid and you don’t.
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Teacher: WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOU WERE YOUR FIRST DAY IN SCHOOL! Like you were in Kindergarten!
Student: You really want me to be like I was on my first day?
Teacher: YES!
Student: Alright then.
*The next day*
Teacher: what's 4x3 divided by the square root of 7.
Student: FISH!
Class: *Laughs*
Teacher: Get over here!
*In the corner of the class room*
Teacher: We agreed you'd be like you were on your first day!
Student: Yeah, and the answer for everything was fish.
Teacher: I hate you.
Student: I hate you too
Teacher: You said that on your first day too?
Student: Nope, I said "I love you" to all my teachers
Teacher: Then why haven't you said that to me!?
Student: Because I didn't lie on the first day of school either.
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Now every idiот from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird vampire parties. No, I don't want to follow you on Twatter. Like, nobody's interested in you. I don't want to see you in real life, why would I want to follow you in the imaginary one?
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Dad: Hey Son! do you need anything from the store while I'm here?
Son: Yah, can you pick up some condoms? i have a date tonight
Dad: Son..
Son: Yah dad?
Dad: You realize you cant get your hand pregnant.....
Son: .....
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A n old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, “Operator, giff me beck the party!”
She says, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to make the call all over again.”
He says, “What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party.”
She says, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to place the call again.”
He says, “Operator, ya know vat? Take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere!” And he hangs up.
Two days later he opens the door and there are two big, strapping guys standing there who say, “We came to take your telephone out.”
He says, “Vy?”
They say, “Because you insulted Operator 28 two days ago. But if you’d like to call up and apologize, we’ll leave the telephone here.”
He says, “Vait a minute, vat’s da rush, vat’s da hurry?” He goes to the telephone and dials. “Hello? Get me Operator 28. Hello, Operator28? Remember me? Two days ago I insulted you? I told you to take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere?”
She says, “Yes?”
He says, “Vell, get ready - dey’re bringin’ it to ya!”
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