Insults

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Where you born on a highway because thats were most mistakes were made

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You're IQ's lower than your shoe size.

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Tell your mom to stop wearing blue lipstick she makes my diск look like a smurf

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Teacher: since you were talking can you solve the problem
Kid: the problem is you ,the solution is to mind your own business

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End of the year essay: In this school, I learned...
Friendship
Unity
Compassion
Kindness
Thanking
History
Imagination
Society

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Q. What do you do if you see a talking Tom and say hi,what will Tom say. A. Hi

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I actually ran into Britney Spears one time, in person, but I didn't recognize her without the word 'mute' written over on the side.

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If somebody asks you what you do, and you go, 'You know the inside of the pen, they got these springs? I put the springs on the inside of the pen. That's what I do.'... Like, 'Without me, the pens wouldn't go click.' That ain't no good job, man.

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Teacher: Were is your homework?
Me: didn't do it.
Teacher: You're so unreliable!
Me: At least it's more reliable than your dads соndом.

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**Cop pulls you over**
Cop: Sir do you know how fast you were going?
You: Well, Do you know how fast you were going to catch up to me?
Cop: ... Have a great day.

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Girl-looks at me for 30 sec
Me-what are you looking at
Girl-something ugly Me-b*tch i ain't no mirror Girl-maybe you ain't no mirror but I am a portrait of your mom

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I like sтuрid questions. Some guy's looking at this picture of me with no beard. Then he looks at me and goes, 'You grow a beard?' No, I shave my photos.

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He reminds me of the kid in fifth grade who reminded the teacher she forgot to give the homework.

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Racist kid: Open your eyes.
Asian kid: If you don't see my eyes open, then you open your eyes.

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My dad was a bigot. He was prejudiced to the core -- and the one race he truly hated the most were the humans.

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Me:*goes over to talk to a friend
In class while standing*
Teacher:hey, go back to your sit
Me:*ignores*
Teacher:Excuse me! I am talking to you!
Me: yea you're talking to me
But I wasn't talking to you so that's why I
Ignored you
Teacher:do we have a problem ?!
Me: you must be sтuрid to ask that
Because it's very obvious now that we do
Teacher:you are aware that you
Started this fight aren't you
Me:there wasn't any problem until you
Interupted the conversation between me
And my friend
Teacher:*sarcastically says* ok! ok! I started it!(the fight)
Me:yea you start it, and I end it!

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Teacher: How many times do I have to tell you, do your homework.
Student: How many times do I have to tell you "I don't give a f*ck"

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Cat: ha your a вuтт sniffer dog: your a pussy

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