Insults

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I'm buysexual. If you buy me stuff, I get sеxuаl.

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Me: (Driving a lamborghini) Hey do you want to come in?
Ex girlfriend: Sure
Me: Wait, let me take a picture of you
Ex girlfriend: Why?
Me: I just want to let people know what a gold digger looks like
Me: *Drives away like a boss*

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Kid: What a fail!
Me: So was your moms birth control!
Class: Ooo

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Comeback Queen #1: Rich or Poor I care no more.
Ok so this mean girl came into my house and she called me poor, just because she had more money than me :/
These were some actual moments:
Girl: EEw what is this сrар on your walls?
Me: a mirror.
Later:
Girl: Hey ha ha I have Subway Surfers on my phone.
Me: Cool so do I.
Girl: YOU have a PHONE?
Me: yeah *shows phone*
Girl: ha ha but there are cracks in it!
Me: speaking of cracks and buts, you should pull up your pants.
Later:
Girl: well noow that I'm leaving might as well give you advice.
Me: which is?
Girl: avoid your face!
Me: I don't have time cuz I'm already avoiding yours.
Girl: GRRR hey where did you get your сrар clothes?!?!?!
Me: The same place you got your life.
Girl: Did you google these comebacks?!!?!? (lol some of them yesh)
Me: Did you google your insults?
Girl: go back your cage! I'm going to my large condo!
Me: Yeah Неll's pretty big, isn't it?
Girl: of course you'd know that.
Me: I know lots of things because I'm not home schooled. ( no offense if you're home schooled but this girl was rетаrdеd)
Girl: I have nickname for you! WANNABE!
Me: I have lots of nicknames for you right now.
Girl: I HAVE THE POWER TO SUE YOU!
Me: you're lucky you don't have the power to read minds.
Girl: That's it! I'm leaving! *gets in car* BYE POOR KIDS!
MY friend: that suскs she gets the last word.
Me: Nope. I put some bug attractor in her hair spray.

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Mean Girl @ school: Ugh, you are so ugly, you will never be as perfect as us!
Me: Oh, I could get plastic surgery for my ugliness, you on the other hand will be sтuрid for eternity! Mean girl: OH НЕLL NAW

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Sluт: You do realize your a big fаggот right?
Me: Вiтсh, Atleast I have friends, and ain't do elephant that eats on the f*cking dамn floor for a living, you only touched 2 püssys man, your cat and yourself. so shut up.

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Your momma is so mean... she has no standard deviation.

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Someone: your so hairy
You: no my private part is

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This guy said to me, "Your belly is getting big... what are you going to do when you look down and you can't see your diск anymore?" So I said to him, "I'll tell your wife to get her head out of the way."

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Teacher: How about one of you decides to teach one day? It's impossible teaching you idiots!
Me: *stands up and walks to the front*
Me: Class Dismissed.

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Guy: You're a diскhеаd!
Idiot: Atleast I have one.
Class: OOOHHH!!!
Guy: Yeah, on your head!

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Вiтсh: Take off your mask. It's not Halloween.
Me: In case you didn't know you're looking at a mirror

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Their may be no "I" in "Team", but there sure is a "U" in "Dоuсhе".

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- I walk in after a bad lesson-
Ass: You look like you just had a fight with a lawn mower, lost then had a mortal comeback with god and he gave you light.
Me:Wow you described yourself without a mirror

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Bully:hey рussy where's your lunch money
Nerd:I don't know ask your mom
Bully:why?
Nerd:because I gave her money to suск me dry
Others: OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH! !!!!

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Bully: That was such a fail!
Me: So was your dad's соndом!

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It's better to let someone think you are an Idiот than to open your mouth and prove it.

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Вiтсh: Rетаrd!
Me: That's offensive
Bitch: No it's not
Me: Not your insult, your face. Someone once told me that every human was the same and to compare your face with the rest is just insulting.

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