Insults

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Вiтсh: Rетаrd!
Me: That's offensive
Bitch: No it's not
Me: Not your insult, your face. Someone once told me that every human was the same and to compare your face with the rest is just insulting.

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Ohh you have a big diск? Not really when a majority of it is your personality...

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"See where I'm pointing? That's the fuск I don't give."

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If pleasure were money, then your mom would of been rich last night

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Dad: hey son im going to the store do you need anything?
Son: Ya, im going out with this girl and I need some protection, like condoms.
Dad: Son...
Son: Yes dad?
Dad: Your face is enough protection.

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A boy and his dad are driving to the boys soccer game and on the way the boy asks the dad a question about puberty.
Son: Dad, what happens to people during puberty.
Dad: Hair growth, реnis hardening, and maybe you will gain some intelligence.
Son: I guess you haven't hit puberty yet.

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Idiот: You tell the worst comebacks ever like "you're dad's соndом failed" and stuff
Me: Clearly you don't know the difference between a comeback and the truth

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Friend: Your Diск is as small as a breath mint
Me: no wonder your moms breath was so minty this morning
Friend: WTF

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I do not think of George Bush as an idiот, OK? I like to think of him more as an intellectual celibate.

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Bully: hey faggo.........
Me: go fuск your boyfriend.
Shuts them up real quick!

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Boy: Will you marry me?
Girl: Sorry, I am a lеsвiаn.
Boy: What’s a lеsвiаn?
Girl: I like to sleep with girls.
Boy: haha really? I am also lеsвiаn!

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Sluт: Hey loser!
Me: Do you want a fight?!
Slut: You're not hard.
Me: No, not over you!
Class: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

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Bully:hey I'm interested in your cheeks.
Bob:me?
Bully:no him
Me: I'm interested in your вuтт cheeks!
Tucker-

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You look like a before picture.

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What's the time?
Time you got a watch,
Time you got a new joke

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Cop: Sir Do You Know How Fast You Was Going?
Man: The Same Speed As You Officer
Cop: And How Is That?
Man: You Caught Up To Me Didn't You?

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You're so ugly, when you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped your parents

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Friend : :( Me: Turn that frown upside down ! Friend ):
Me: you little shit

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