Insults

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Me: Will you shut the hеll up!?
Guy: Maybe if I gave a shiт then yes.
Me: Maybe if you had a brain you'd see that your voice makes everyone wanna jump off a cliff.
Class: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guy: Shut up, shiт mouths shouldn't be talking.
Class: OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Then why are you still talking?
Guy: ..... F*ck......
Me: We're not talking about what you do every night to yourself now sтfu and sit the fuск down.
Class: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Girl: Hi
Boy: Hi
Girl: Did you eat?
Boy: Did you eat?
Girl: Are you copying me?
Boy: Are you copying me?
Girl: I love you
Boy: Yeah I ate already!

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She's always bragging about the dumbest stuff. The other day she was telling me, she's like, 'You know I can still fit in my wedding dress.' I was like, 'Oh my god, who cares, right?' I mean it is weird that she's the same size now as she was when she was 8 months pregnant.

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I have a roommate. Her name is Cathy. She's petite. 'Petite' is the French word for 'whоrе.'

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Вiтсh: Your so ugly!
Me: look mate , you wear too much make up, you look like you've been gang banged by crayola!

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Stupidity is not a сriме so you are free to go.

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People do say sтuрid things. Like when someone you live with is going out, and they go, 'I'll be back.' Don't rub it in.

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Loser: Your face is wrong.
Me: At least there isn't a вuтт lining running down mine.

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"How big is your diск?"
"Not sure. I only have one ruler."

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Hardnut: Hey kid, you piece of sh*t. fight me you little rat.
Kid: Excuse me but I dont agre with the idea of animal abuse.

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Using the Internet's like trying to get help from a rетаrdеd librarian.

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Guy 1: do you like tapes or cds better
Guy2:cds
Guy1:cdeez nuts

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Me: U suck
Bully: Ur life sucks
Me: Well ur in my life so u must suck

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Bully: Where's your lunch money?
Nerd: I left it on your mother's dresser.
Crowd:oooooooooh!!!!!!!

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You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.'

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I grew up in an Italian family. Kinda strange, my mother taught me how to shave.

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We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.

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There's only one problem with your face, I can see it.

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