Insults

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Me: Fuск off!
Jerk: It says no dogs in here...
Me: You better get out then!

0

0

Bully: Hey nerd I bet you have a tiny diск.
Me: how many letters in the alphabet?
Bully: 26 duмваss.
Me: no 25 because you got no D.

0

0

Mad Person: КILL YOURSELF!
Smart guy: If I wanted to кill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ
Mad Person: ...................................

0

0

Jеrк: Fатаss!
You: It's not my fault your mom gave me a cookie everytime I f*cked her.
Everyone Else: OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!

0

0

Me: You're ugly.
Asshole: Are you sure you're not looking in the mirror?
Class: OOOHHH!!!
Me: Well I can't, because you cracked them all!
Class: OOOOHHHH!!!!

0

0

Guy: You're Ugly!
You: Good, I Guess My Impression Of You Is Getting Pretty Good
Guy: *Speechless*

0

0

How people deal with insults
Pre-school: *cries* I'm telling
Primary school: Go away, leave me alone
Middle school: Get sucked
High school: You got a problem b*tch?

0

0

You know, the thing about your family is you're connected forever by blood relation to a group of folks who are really not your kind of people.

0

0

Behind every fат woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.

0

0

Friend: Did you see the fight on the playground yesterday?
Me: Yeah, the guy got kicked in the ваlls. Smart аss walks up to us
Smart аss: What are you guys talking about?
Me: Something that you don't have.

0

0

Guy: Fuск me *in exasperation*
Me: No thanks, I don't want what you've got.
Guy: What? Good looks?
Me: No, AIDS, Неrреs and crabs
Guy: *quiet*

0

0

Bully: Ha ha, look at this Nerd, I bet you his mom tucked him in last night
Nerd:Nope, it was yours, and she didn't just kiss me on the cheek

0

0

When I was a kid, I had this one aunt who used to always call me by my brother's name -- I mean, a million times, every time I saw her. Finally, I just snapped. I said, 'You are the biggest simpleton idiот pinhead I've ever met.' She got all upset, called my parents, told on me. My brother got sсrеwеd.

0

0

Fаg: your fат like an elephant
Guy: cool that means I can join your mom at the zoo

0

0

Friend: You have something on your сhin. No, the third one down.
Me: Why don’t you wipe it off for me and put it in one of those bags under your eyes?

0

0

Popular girl: *talking about famous instagramer*
Me: who's that?
Popular girl: Ew do you like not have a life? *smiles back at friends*
Me:oh no, I do. I'm just not on my phone 75% of it, missing out all the important moments in life, like your boyfriend literally flirting with that girl behind you.
Popular girl: * turns around* *hits boyfriend* What the hеll Bryan!?

0

0

Mom after Parents-Teachers meeting.
"Honey, you need to study you are not as talented as your friends, you can neither sing or dance"
"Who cares? I walk like Rihanna"

0

0

Nobody's been a pile of sh*t their entire life and then turned it around because the commencement address. 'So you're saying I can be anything? Oh yeah, that sounds way better than what I was going to do.'

0

0