Insults

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Kid- Be f*ckin carefull what you say or ill squash you to the size of a ticktack
You-your like a bag of pampers, self absorbed and full of shit

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Random person going on with shiт.
Me: *sneezes* sorry I'm allergic to вullshiт.

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Stop thinking that your hot because the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

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Everybody knew my father. He would come home; hoodlums are standing around. 'Hey, Mr. Morris, how was work today?'
'You motherf**kers wouldn't know, would you?'

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Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

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Don't you hate it when a kid in your class acts all smart and everything. So in class one day after they get done being a sмаrтаss, say...
Unless your name is Google stop acting like you f*cking know everything because you don't.

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Me: How do you make an animal to talk to you?
Friend: How?
Me: I just did.

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The Democrats are useless. If they were asked to form a firing squad, they'd all get into a circle.

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Teacher: John You need to turn in that paper that your missing
John: why I already have a bad grade!
Teacher: hey watch the back talk!
John: you watch your front talk!

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Guy 1: I get a воnеr when I look in that mirror
Guy 2: that's a photo of me

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I bet your mom was so let down when she got you instead of her period

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Prince: so nice to meet you, your beautiful face is making me dizzy. *farts*
Princess: did you just fart
Prince: i was just blowing you a kiss with my вuтт hole.
Kickass if you get it
By meza pants so that my friends will know

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Mom:
"You don't need drugs to have fun."
Me:
"Ya, well I don't need running shoes to run but it makes it a hеll of a lot easier".

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I saw a thing in the store the other day, 'Buy a set of dumbbells, get a video tape on how to use it.' I'm thinking to myself, 'You don't know how to use dumbbells -- what are the odds you know how to use a VCR?'

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I can't stand you anymore!
Then sit down.

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I would say you're pretty, but my parents always told me honesty is the best policy.

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How many people here are sтuрid? It's good to be sтuрid. It takes a lot of pressure off you. You do something wrong -- 'What are you, sтuрid?'
'Yeah.'

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The Democrats are the worst. They call Bill Clinton the 'most electable' of the Democrats. It's like calling Moe the 'smart' Stooge.

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