Internet Jokes

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Surfer 1: I love surfing!
Surfer 2: I thought you’re afraid of surfing!
Surfer 1: The Internet, that is!

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If I don't get to the internet every 5 minutes, a part of me dies

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I met up with this woman from the Internet, after about 5 minutes I said:
“I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw your profile, we share the same hobby.”
“It was a typo” she said, “I’m really into walking, please pull your trousers up.”

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A salesman knocked on my door today.
“Who currently provides your Internet?” he asked.
I said, “My next door neighbour.”

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There’s nothing but роrn on tv these days.
I tell you, it makes me so angry, I sit on the end of my bed and shake my fist at it.

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Yesterday I set my wifi’s name to “Hack this if you can”.
When I checked it today, it was called “Challenge accepted”.

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I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn't have internet.

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Kyle:
"Dude, why is my netflix DVD out in the snow?"
Ben:
"Well, I heard the coolest thing on the internet right now is netflix and CHILL!"

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They say spending too much on the internet is bad for you...
I wonder if there's a website to find out more information about it?

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The Mafia have decided to update it’s operations to keep up with internet trading.
Their first venture is called Pay-Up-Pal

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Someone knocked at my door this afternoon.
When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino’s holding a cheese and tomato pizza.
“I haven’t ordered any pizzas,” I said. “This must be a mistake.”
“I know,” he replied. “Your neighbour forgot his Facebook password and wanted to show you what he was eating for lunch.”

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I just saw a group on Facebook - “We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.”
Going by that theory we would also need to find: A liver, a small intestine, a diaphragm…
And a реnis.

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Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.

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Facebook needs a “I’ll Drink To That” button

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I just found the perfect place to hide a dead body, a place no one ever looks.
Page two of Google’s search results.

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I wonder if Google realise that 75% of their traffic is made up of people using them as their ’emergency non-роrn tab’

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What’s the biggest difference between Google and Роrnhuв?
I’m willing to go to the 2nd page of search results on Роrnhuв.

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The ice bucket challenge has really raised my awareness of something.
It’s made me a lot more aware that a shitload of people I know are attention seeking сunтs.

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