Internet Jokes

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I’ve been playing poker on Facebook.
So far I’ve poked 113 women, but not a one of them have poked me back.

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You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.

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Surfer 1: I love surfing!
Surfer 2: I thought you’re afraid of surfing!
Surfer 1: The Internet, that is!

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I met up with this woman from the Internet, after about 5 minutes I said:
“I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw your profile, we share the same hobby.”
“It was a typo” she said, “I’m really into walking, please pull your trousers up.”

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The General Rule of People you meet on the internet (only pick two):
- Single -Attractive -Mentally Stable

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A salesman knocked on my door today.
“Who currently provides your Internet?” he asked.
I said, “My next door neighbour.”

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There’s nothing but роrn on tv these days.
I tell you, it makes me so angry, I sit on the end of my bed and shake my fist at it.

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Yesterday I set my wifi’s name to “Hack this if you can”.
When I checked it today, it was called “Challenge accepted”.

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I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn't have internet.

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Kyle:
"Dude, why is my netflix DVD out in the snow?"
Ben:
"Well, I heard the coolest thing on the internet right now is netflix and CHILL!"

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They say spending too much on the internet is bad for you...
I wonder if there's a website to find out more information about it?

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The Mafia have decided to update it’s operations to keep up with internet trading.
Their first venture is called Pay-Up-Pal

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I just saw a group on Facebook - “We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.”
Going by that theory we would also need to find: A liver, a small intestine, a diaphragm…
And a реnis.

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This girl just posted a status on Facebook which said:
“Fuскing phone!!!!!!!!!”
Apparently, “Can I watch?” is not an appropriate reply.

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Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.

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Facebook needs a “I’ll Drink To That” button

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I just found the perfect place to hide a dead body, a place no one ever looks.
Page two of Google’s search results.

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I wonder if Google realise that 75% of their traffic is made up of people using them as their ’emergency non-роrn tab’

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