Internet Jokes

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You know you’re fсuкing ugly when your Facebook picture is a car…

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The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don’t even have to hide a body.

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My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shiт in person.

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I paid a website £2000 for a baldness cure.
The ваsтаrds sent me a hat.

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I wish i had an app that deletes my phone number from other people’s phones.

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My girlfriend is a роrn star.
She is going to be so рissеd off when she finds out.

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I visited a girls profile on a dating website, she was 5ft 3 green eyes. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind short girls, but 3 green eyes? No wonder she can’t find a guy.

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I don't trust those internet and TV ads about apps. They say they are free, but how do I know I'm not getting charged hidden fees after I download them?
Do they really do what they say they're going to do? And all those gigabytes they use up! I just feel very uneasy when it comes to this kind of cell phone technology.
I guess that makes me… app-rehensive?

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5.25 inch floppy disks were fragile. They had to be stored in paper sleeves, could not be веnт, and they could be damaged by a single touch
3.5 inch floppy disks held 1.44 megabytes of data. That's enough for maybe two or three standard Microsoft Word documents with no images. That's enough for maybe a minute of MP3 quality music.
Before internet use was common, the most frequent way that computer viruses spread was through floppy disks. It was a risk to take your data to another person's computer.

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I think its my mom’s birthday. I should unblock her on facebook and check

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Half of Facebook is completely silent, the other half posts and shares wayyyyyy too much.

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I was watching роrn last night when my Nan walked in.
Not the best way to find out what she does for a living.

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I’ve found the main advantage of premature еjасulатiоn is that those free 30 second роrn trailers prove to be more than adequate.

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Latest роrn releases:
Shaving Private Ryan,
Position Impossible,
As Big As It Gets,
Forest Нuмр,
Riding Miss Daisy,
Horn of the Dead

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I am thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside instead of apps and how many dамn likes you get on a picture.

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As a member of an Internet awareness survey team, we had visited a home. The unruly owner asked,
"Tell me the difference between washing machine & Internet?” When I was cursing my luck, my colleague answered, "The former washes your cloth and the later washes your brain."

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Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?
That’s as crazy as the discounts at Dave’s Furniture Emporium…

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All these people getting phishing eMails from the Prince of Nigeria, well I got one from a real Egyptian Pharaoh!!! …
….
….
Alas, it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

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