Jokes

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I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, “Stay Positive.” to the corona patients

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Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news"
So the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news?” the Doctor replies
"I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

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What do you get when a соw doesn’t give anymore milk?
A milk dud

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Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How’d you know? I haven’t even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.

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What Would you find on a haunted beach?
A Sand-witch!
“Hey guys I’m a new Jokester, remeber my name as I’ll be making a lot more!!!
P. S. They will be much better than this one!”

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When is a piece of wood made king?
When its a ruler

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I tried a pun about water but people “sea” right through it, and when people complain they are usually just being a beach

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Wood fired pizza?
Hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
Please drop a like

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If you spin a fidget spinner
You’ll end up spinning it too fast
When you end up spinning it too fast
It will make you fly away
When you fly away you’ll end up in a tree
When you end up in a tree
You’ll see that your friends are hanging out without you
When you see that your friends are hanging out without you
You’ll run away in the woods because your sad
When you ran away in the woods you’ll see a bear
When you see a bear
It will chase you
When the bear chases you
You’ll build a fort to protect yourself
When you build a fort to protect yourself
You than notice your lonely
You’ll become friends with the bear
When you become friends with a bear, you’ll start to act like a bear
When you start to act like a bear
You will become a bear
Do not become a bear
Never play with a fidget spinner

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What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach
Sandy cheeks

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What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.

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What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson
Could you move your in my son

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Unlike my syndrome I keep my сhin up 🙌🏽😁

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Theres something on your сhin no not that one the 3rd row

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A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest, the boy said “I’m scared” the man said “Why are you scared I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone

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What would be a good job for a fат person? A four-сhin teller!!

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What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood

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I bought a wooden whistle. I tried soo hard, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel one. It steel wooden let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It steel wooden lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes. So the wood lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel…

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