Jokes

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Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.

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Today is the day of 9/11 and we were in class making jokes and somebody said that’s sad and I was like why and they said “ today is the day the towers went down” and I said just like I did on you mum last night

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Your mum is so smart but she still can’t figure why she had you

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How did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.

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What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall?
Dumb Bass.

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I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her 5$ to go play a game but she tugged my joy stick to hard

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An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away.
If you throw it hard enough.

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So. You wanna hear a joke about the wall? …Actually nah you won’t get over it

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Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin wall

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A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’

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Why wouldn’t Mr Bee 🐝 push Ms Bee 🐝 away?
Believe he loves his honey.

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Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse. Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and вuтт. Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

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What do fish 🐟 take to stay healthy ?
Vitamin Sea.

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Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back

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I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn’t giving birth the вlооdy car would not start .

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I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.

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What comes up on small oceans micro waves

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How do we know that the ocean is friendly??? It waves

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