Life Jokes

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

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Age is important only if you're cheese and wine.

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Evolution: True science fiction.

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You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U. S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush', ‘Diск', and ‘Colon'. Need I say more?

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My room + internet connection + music + food - homework = perfect day.

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Only in America ... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? – A nervous wreck.

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Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

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He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

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If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

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I'm in shape. Round is a shape isn't it

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Drink coffee! Do sтuрid things faster with more energy!

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Stupidity comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of them even look like people.

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Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don't have it.

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ... Plus a slice of lemon, ... And a shot of tequila.

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I rang up British Telecom, I said,
"I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".

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