Military Jokes About The Army, And Air Force
The simulated battle
A squad of soldiers-in-training stood in line to get their practice weapons for an upcoming simulated battle. As the last guy got up to the sergeant, the sergeant said, “sorry son, we’re all out. Take this broom instead.” The private looked puzzled so the sergeant explained, “When you see the enemy, point the broom at them and say ‘bangity, bangity, ваng.’ Don’t worry, it will work fine.”
So the private and the rest of his squad headed out to the battle field. Shortly after they started marching, the private spotted an enemy. Reluctantly, he put the broom up to his shoulder, aimed down the handle and shouted, “bangity, bangity, ваng.” Much to his surprise, the enemy fell over. A few moments later, he spotted another enemy, pointed his broom, and shouted “bangity, bangity, ваng.” Again, the enemy fell over.
This, of course energized the private so he jumped up, pointed his broom and shouted “bangity, bangity, ваng,”
“bangity, bangity, ваng,” ‘bangity, bangity, ваng.’ Enemies fell all around him.
Off in the distance, he spotted another enemy, raised his broom and shouted “bangity, bangity, ваng.” This time, however, the enemy didn’t fall over. As the enemy got closer, the private pointed his broom and shouted even louder, “bangity, bangity, ваng.” Still, the enemy didn’t fall and, instead, just kept marching toward the private.
The enemy got within feet of the private and one more time he aimed his broom and screamed, “bangity, bangity, ваng.” But the enemy just kept on marching. He walked into the private, knocked him over, stepped on him and kept on walking. And as he went by, the private heard the enemy say, “tankity, tankity, tank, tankity, tankity, tank.”
Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses: … …
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(1) “Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?” …
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(2) “The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?” …
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(3) “Were you present when your picture was taken?” …
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(4) “Were you alone or by yourself?”
(5) “Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?”
(6) “Did he кill you?”
(7) “You were there until the time you left, is that true?”
(8) “How many times have you committed suicide?”
(9) Q:
“So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?”
“Yes.”
“And what were you doing at that time?”
(10) Q:
“She had three children, right?”
“Yes.”
“How many were boys?”
“None.”
“How many were girls?”
(11) Q:
“You say the stairs went down to the basement?”
“Yes.”
“And these stairs, did they go up also?”
(12) Q:
“All your responses must be оrаl, OK? What school did you go to?”
“Оrаl.”
“What city do you currently reside in?”
“Оrаl.”
(13) Q:
“Do you recall the time that you examined the body?”
“The autopsy started around 8:30 p. M.”
“And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?”
“No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.”
(14) Q:
“You were shot in the fracas?”
“No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.”