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Navy jokes

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Why did the New Polish Navy build boats with glass bottoms?
To see the Old Polish Navy
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“I saw a chap with a big bushy beard earlier.”
“Was it a naval beard?”
“No, it was on his сhin like everyone else”.
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Saw a game that’s a mix of chess, Connect Four and battleships. It’s called rook, line and sinker.
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Got a twelve inch sub. Just about enough space for my two navy mice.
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My dog joined the navy. Now he’s a sub woofer.
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I only joined the navy so I could be pedantic at every opportunity. I’m a petty officer.
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Friend of mine has an unhealthy obsession with aircraft carriers. He warships them.
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Just found out what exam results you need to join the navy. 7 Cs.
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What did the Navy say to the coast guards?
"I'll SEAL you later"
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What did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem?
We are in the same boat.
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A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop.
They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
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The admiral shouted,
"Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whоrеhоusе!"
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Why do navy divers fall backwards out of their boat? If they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat.
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What so you call a snail on a ship?
A Snailer
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This guy decides to join the Navy. On his first day aboard his assigned ship, he gets acquainted with all the facilities around the ship he will be serving on. The guy asks the sailor showing him around,
“Ah, um, what do you guys do here when you get really hоrny after months of being out at sea?”, to which the other sailor replies,
“Well, there is a barrel on the upper deck, just put your johnson through the side with the вunghоlе.”
Well, weeks pass, and the new guy is getting really hоrny and remembers the barrel. He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. He pulls his turgid manhood out and shoves it into the barrel, where a pair of warm lips encircle it. It is simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, truly a success!
After he was done, he zipped up and merrily walked away. Day after day, he takes advantage of the delights of the barrel.
One morning, he places Mister Happy in the barrel and nothing happens. He tries a few minutes later … nothing. A few minutes later there is a small but increasing lineup of sailors who also wish to use the “facility.”
Then, along comes the guy who originally told him about the barrel.
“That barrel really is great! But today, nothing is happening!”
To which the other crew member replies,
“Yeah, that’s because today is your turn in the barrel, all day.”
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