One day a kid was sitting at home waiting for his relatives to come over. He overheard his parents fighting with each other yelling "YOU ВIТСН"
"You ваsтаrd".
Being so young, the kid had never heard those words before and asked his parents what they meant. They replied by saying "Вiтсh means lady and ваsтаrd means gentlemen". Satisfied with this answer the boy went to his room.
Then he heard the neighbors having sеx. They were repeating the words "DIСК and "СUNТ" over and over and over. Again, the boy was curious and asked his parents what those words meant. Thinking fast, his mother said "Diск means coat and сunт means jackets."
Once again the boy was satisfied with the answer and headed to the bathroom, but his father was shaving and the boy had to wait. Fearing that the boy might wet himself, the father shaved faster. He went a little to quick and ended up cutting himself, "SНIТ!!!!!" he yelled. "What's shiт mean daddy," the boy asked . The father, stuck for an answer said,
"It means shaving cream."
The boy did his "business" and his dad went back to shaving. His next stop was the kitchen, there he saw his mother preparing the turkey. As she reached for a knife she ended up cutting herself. "AW FUСК!!", she yelled. "What's fuск mean mommy", the boy asked. "It means stuffing the turkey."
Finally, the guest arrived, the boy went to the door and said,
"Hello b*tches and ваsтаrds, may I take your diскs and сunтs? Dad's in the bathroom putting shiт on his face and Mom is in the kitchen f*cking the turkey!
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