Jokes about Police Officers

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular
0
0
0

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted, behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
"Because I don't believe you are over 21."The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
0
0
0
0
0
Полицай спира забързан минувач в 3 часа през нощта. След полунощ полицай спира шофьор Ein Mann wird um Mitternacht von der Polizei angehalten und gefragt Полиция останавливает мужчину в нетрезвом состоянии в час ночи. The police stop an old guy in questionable condition at 1 am. Пиян мъж върви по улицата. Среща го полицай: - Къде си тръгнал Ein Autofahrer wird nachts von der Polizei angehalten: "Wohin fahren Sie?" - "Zu einem Vortrag über Alkoholmissbrauch und Rauchen." - "Wer hält um diese Uhrzeit solche Vorträge?" - "Mein Frau!" A dokąd to obywatelu? - pyta policjant pijanego. - Idę wysłuchać kazania. - A kto wygłasza kazania o trzeciej w nocy?! - Moja żona. The man was in no shape to drive An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked wherehe is going at this time of night. The man replies Een dronken man besluit heel wijs zijn auto te laten staan en lopend naar huis te gaan. Als hij na een half uur zwalken over straat ineens word aangehouden door een agent. ‘Waar gaat U naar toe om... П'яний чоловік вночі йде по вулиці. Його зупиняє поліцейський: — Куди йдеш? — Іду слухати лекцію про шкоду алкоголізму. — О третій годині ночі?! Хто ж тобі буде її читати? — Моя дружина і теща! Запира полицаец возач во 4 сабајле и му вика: - Каде одиш? - На предавање. - На какво предавање? - На предавање за морални вредности Полицаец застанува пијан маж и го прашува: - Каде сте тргнале толку доцна навечер? - На предавање. - Е како да не. Кој држи предавања во ова време?! - Жена ми!! Sustabdė naktį policininkas girtą žmogelį ir klausia: - Pilieti Un homme âgé est arrêté par la police vers 2 heures du matin et on lui demande où il va à cette heure de la nuit. L’homme répond: - « Je suis en route pour une conférence sur l’abus d’alcool et les... A man is staggering home drunk late at night when he’s stopped by a policeman. ‘What are you doing out here at this time of night?’ asks the officer. ‘I’m going to a lecture Een oudere man wordt om 2 uur ’s nachts door de politie staande gehouden en wordt gevraagd waar hij om deze tijd naar toe gaat. Hij antwoordt: “Ik ben op weg naar een lezing over misbruik van...
0
0
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?
Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant:
Weight?
Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fат.
Sergeant:
Color of eyes?
Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sergeant:
Color of hair?
Husband:
Change a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
Sergeant:
What was she wearing?
Husband:
Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?
Husband:
She went in my truck.
Sergeant:
What kind of truck was it?
Husband:
A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air
Conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and "Bubba" floor mats. Trail-ring package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver, 23-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelin's. It has custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting.
At this point the husband started choking up...
Sergeant:
Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck.
0
A man ordered for a voice automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error. He got the car and started sending it on errands. He became so proud of what the car can do without mistakes.
One day, he wasn’t able to go out, his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school because she was so tired.
The man agreed and said to the car; Car, go and bring my children from school. The car went and didn’t return in time as expected, they knew something must be wrong.
Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive. He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station. As he and his wife stepped outside they saw the car coming with an overload of children.
The car parked right in front of them and said; “These are your children sir”. In the car was their Landlady’s two daughters, their choir mistress two sons, his wife’s best friend’s daughter, their pastor’s son and their neighbours two sons.
The Wife said; Don’t tell me all these ones are your children?.
The man asked her calmly; Can you tell me why our children are not in the car? …=D
0

0
0
0
0
0
0