Best Priest Jokes, Best Catholic Priest Jokes

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Boy goes to Confession Boy : " What are you doing father"
Priest : “Its called маsтurватiоn and soon you will be doing it"
Boy : " Why do you say that father"
Priest : " Cause my hand is getting tired”

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Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter?
A: Eve, because she made Adams banana stand.

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Q: Why couldn't the Virgin Mary sleep?
A: Because Jesus cries (сhrisт).

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Q: Why was Noah the best businessman in the Bible?
A: He floated his stock while everybody else was being liquidated.

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Неll yeah I'm a catholic i've been addicted to cats my whole life

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Q: What do you call Pope Benedict XVI after his last day?
A: Ex Benedict.

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Q: What do you call holy bread?
A: Jesus Crust!

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Q: What happened when Моsеs had a headache?
A: God gave him some tablets.

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If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, What would she do for a Klondike bar?

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Working for the Lord, don't pay much, but the benefits are out of this world.

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Q: What do you call a detective from the reformation?
A: Martin Sleuther

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Q: Why can't Anglicans play chess?
A: Because they can't tell a Bishop from a Queen.

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Q: What did Моsеs said when he came down the mountain and saw people worshipping the golden calf?
A: Holy соw!

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Q: Why don't you fаrт in church?
A: Because you have to sit in your pew.

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Q: What's the difference between Jesus and your father?
A: Your father never came back.

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Q: Did you hear about all the drama down at the convent?
A: Well, it's nun of your business.

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Q: What is Jesus' favourite pop song of all time?
A: I can feel it in my fingers.

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Q: What do you call it when Batman leaves church early?
A: Christian Bale

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