Best Priest Jokes, Best Catholic Priest Jokes

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Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Italy?
A: They had the three wise guys, but they couldn't find a virgin.

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Q: How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
A: He installs a parking meter on the roof.

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Q: Did you know that Matt Damon is religious?
A: He's a BOURNE Again Christian!

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Q: Does light have mass?
A: Of course not. It's not even Catholic!

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Q: Why can't you find the letter X in Church?
A: Because it was X-communicated.

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Q: What do you call a Catholic service that is very very important?
A: Critical Mass.

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Q: Why do nuns go everywhere in pairs?
A: To make sure the other nun gets none.

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Q: What is the definition of suspicion?
A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

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Q: How do Bishops and Cardinals get to the Vatican?
A: On a pope-cycle.

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Q: What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
A: Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.

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Q: What did the nun say to the swiss cheese?
A: "I'm holier than you"

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What do you call a place rich in gold and poor in spirituality?
"The Catholic church!"

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Q: Why don't nuns wear bras?
A: God supports everything.

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Q: What did Jesus say when somebody took a dump in his yard?
A: Holy Shiт!

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Q: What kind of crackers do televangelists like to eat?
A: Billy Grahams.

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Q: Where is the best place to get a ice cream cone?
A: IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.

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Q: Did you hear about the priest who became a marathon runner?
A: He never finishes in first; he's always сuммing in a little behind.

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Q: What do fат preachers do?
A: They belly!

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