Best Priest Jokes, Best Catholic Priest Jokes

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A Catholic boy and a Jewish boy were talking and the Catholic boy said, "My priest knows more than your rabbi."
The Jewish boy said, "Of course he does, you tell him everything."

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Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet!
Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!

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Sending your kid to catholic school is the easiest way to guarantee your kid will not be catholic.

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Rain rain go away catholic school girls wants to play

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Yo mamma is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is.

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If god hates gаys then why did he create them?

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Muslims pray up to 5 times a day. I'm catholic, we pray only when is necesary.

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Are you from Arkansas, cus your the only ark I saw!

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Nothing is more exciting than when the priest says "now you may go in peace"

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Getting a chastity talk from nuns. Yes, please continue to tell me why sеx is bad since you know from experience

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When the nuns are away the catholic school girls will play

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Billy: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Billy: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell

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Of all the people in the whole of the human race,
God chose Adam for a chance at eternal life.
His desision made he shouted, as loud as he could 'Adam! Come forth and win eternal life without aging'
Unfortunately Adam came fifth and won a toaster

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A little boy was listening to a long and excessively boring sermon in church.
Suddenly the red sanctuary lamp caught his eye.
Tugging his father's sleeve, he said, "Daddy, when the light turns green can we go?"

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Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute.
It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone."
The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away.
All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.
Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."

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A man was selling 2 litters of kittens. one of them are catholic kittens and another are lutheran kittens.
Another guy wants to purchase some of them. So the guy said to the man, whats the difference between the Catholic kittens and the Lutheran kittens?
The Catholic kittens, their eyes are still closed and the Lutheran kittens , their eyes are already open!

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While on the cross, jesus calls out to John.
John fights through the romans, wraps his arms around the base of the cross, looks up and CRIES, YES MY LORD!!.
Christ looks down upon him and says - "JOHN, I CAN SEE YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE!"

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A nun at a Catholic school asked her students what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Mary declares, "I want to be a рrоsтiтuте."
"What did you say?" asks the nun, totally shocked.
"I said I want to be a рrоsтiтuте," Mary repeats.
"Oh, thank heavens," says the nun. "I thought you said 'a Protestant!'"

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