Relationship Jokes

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You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her:
“I am very good in bed “. That is Direct Marketing.
You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her:
“That guy over there is very good in bed “. That is Advertising.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number. The following day you call her and tell her:
“I am very good in bed “. That is Telemarketing.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her:
“Do you remember how good I am in bed? ” That is Customer Relationship Management.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her:
“I am very good in bed “. That is Public Relations.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and tells you:
“I heard you are very good in bed “. That is BRANDING!!”
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1. In the company of females, inтеrсоursе should be referred to as:
A. Lоvемакing.
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sеxuаl relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.
3. You always time your оrgаsм so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both сliмаx simultaneously.
C. You don’t miss ESPN Sports Center.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sеx on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sеx with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affection for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.
7. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A моrоn.
8. Foreplay is to sеx as:
A. An appetizer is to an entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you маsтurвате:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
Evaluating Results:
If you answered A more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.
If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy. You’re a little confused.
If you answered C more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN!!!!!
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