A lady selling women’s cosmetics starts her day bright and early. She comes to a home at 7 a. M. and knocks on the door. A man answers the door wearing just boxer shorts. The sales lady asks, “Can I speak to the woman in the house? I have some cosmetics that she may be interested in purchasing.”
The man responds, “My wife is at work now and won’t return until about noon.”
“That’s OK”, the lady says, “I will be back at about 12:30 to see her then.”
The man then says, “You won’t be able to see her then either. We will be busy when she gets home and she has to get ready to go to her other job.”
“Oh…, OK, ah, well… then I will come back at around 5 p. M. and catch her then” says the sales lady.
“Well, you won’t be able to talk to her then either. We are going to be busy again when she gets home. She then has to get ready to go to work for another employer and won’t be back until late this evening.”
The sales lady is taken back and is compelled to ask, “Don’t YOU have a job”?
The guy answers simply, “No, I don’t have a job. I don’t work at all.”
The sales lady becomes somewhat repulsed by this guy. She says, “Do you mean to tell me that your wife works three jobs, while you just sit around at home all day long?”
The guy says, “That’s correct.”
The sales lady can’t help but get angry. She then tells the guy, “You know what, buddy, you disgust me! Guys like you ought to be hung”!
The man then simply states, “I am.”
A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro Graham saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, ‘Why are you back in so early ?
What’s wrong ?’‘I was stung by a bee’, she said.‘Where ?’, he asked.‘Between the first and second hole’, she replied. He nodded knowingly and said, ‘Then your feet were too far apart.’
Her golf pro Graham saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, ‘Why are you back in so early ?
‘I was stung by a bee’, she said.
‘Where ?’, he asked.
‘Between the first and second hole’, she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, ‘Then your feet were too far apart.’
Bill’s wife goes out to buy a car.
The salesman says, I recommend this one.
She asks why.
The salesman says, “Because it has hydraulic backspin brakes. Get in and I’ll show you.”
He drives the car 100 miles and hour toward a brick wall, and when he’s 60 feet away he jams on the brakes. They stop a foot from the wall.
The salesman says, “Do you smell that?”
She takes a sniff and says, “Uh-huh.”
The salesman says proudly, “That’s hydraulic backspin brakes.”
That night when Bill gets home, his wife says, “Dear, I bought a car.”
Bill asks, “How did you decide which kind to buy?”
She says, “I bought one with hydraulic backspin brakes. Get in and I’ll show you.
They get in, and she drives 100 miles an hour toward the same brick wall. When they are 60 feet away from it, she jams on the brakes, and they stop one foot from the wall.
She looks over at her husband and says. “Do you smell that?”
“Fсuкing smell it !”Bill says, “I ought to! I’m fсuкing sitting in it.”