Spanish jokes

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"Uno, dos..."
And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres.

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A blonde tells her friend
"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"
"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend
"6 months"
"That cannot be a record time!'
" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"
Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish

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My friend is so rich
He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician

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A spanish magician ...
A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts:
"Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.

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A manager was telling his Spanish waiter to put the cutlery on the trays. The waiter didn’t understand so the manager, becoming frustrated said “ON THOSE TRAYS”
The waiter replied “no no no it’s uno dos tres”

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How does Milk introduce its self in Spanish?
Soy Milk

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What did the Spanish Monk say to break up with his girlfriend?
No mas stay.

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Yesterday, my family asked me if I could speak some Spanish for them
I said "No".

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A Spanish guy went to a concert in America.
He was arrested for running onto the stage in the middle of a song. He told the police that he thought they wanted him up there because the drummer had shouted his name and then "Two, Three!" before a song.

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Four generations ago, my family left Puerto Rico to come to the mainland in hopes of finding a better life. Though they spoke little English, they learned enough to survive and provide for their families.
I just dropped out of Spanish 102.

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My wife loves monty python, so when she said “there’s something unexpected waiting for you at home,” I got pretty excited
Turns out, it wasn’t the Spanish Inquisition. It was divorce papers

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What's the spanish word for peeping tom?
Pico de gallo

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The build up for a joke is everything
The Spanish Inquisition

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Batmans unexpected
Batman: presses center console on belt
Everyone: what cant his belt do
The guy watching Batman: He didn't expect the Spanish inquisition!

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What is soy milk in Spanish?
Milk introducing itself in Spanish

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Where does a Spanish vampire live?
A HUANted house.

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Mother in-law accidentally change the language of her TV to Spanish.
She doesn’t know Spanish and could not figure out how to get it back into English. A light bulb popped into my Father in-laws head. He decided to go to Home Depot and hire some help.

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I went up to my Spanish teacher to ask him a question today.
"Mr. Sylvando, does "Más o menos" mean kind of and something else?"
To which he replied:
"Yes, pretty much."

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